The screens are EATING very important part of us.

Before you even try to picture it, the “big monster” in your head as a dragon or a hideous creature I will just add some color to it. My face and the face of my children is the part of that picture.

It is all over the place, we are all part of this big monster called a screen time…

Why do I use this “monster” term… because it is big, overwhelming and scary to deal with, and slowly but surely is taking over our life’s.

And as all, not so nice things in the society, this is one thing that is impacting our children’s life’s the most. Who is responsible? I am afraid that on this one we cannot rely on our children, especially the youngest ones on their awareness to stop. With so many researchers that proves that screen time is as a cocaine for the children (and not only children), we need to start braking these monsters face for the good of all.

If we want to change, then we all need to change, the technology is here to stay and it will make sure that the media is working towards the attraction of more “viewers”, children or not.

It is upon us parents to win over our children’s quality living time.

Awareness is a first step towards solving a problem.

This is some things that can raise awareness while facing the “screen time monster” for your children or yourself.

Why do we allow so much screen time?

Because…

We want to get some rest;

We want to finish some work without disturbance of the children;

We want to have screen time;

Whatever it is, from this three reasons or maybe something totally different, it is not good enough to make our children’s life’s a collateral for the things that the system had created, and we accepted as necessary.

There are few easy things you can do, to take control over the screen time.

  • Take the screen while mealtime.
  • Take screens from the bedroom.
  • Take screens for personal use, tablets and smartphones.
  • Leave only one screen in the house.

There are great writings that can help you and give you ideas how to actually change your family screen time habits. For the children Link, and for grown-ups link.

Another point of awareness is the greatness of the struggle that will appear when you try to take out some screen time.

As being aware for yourself, on how much struggle it takes for you to take attention from the screen, then you can imagine what is happening with the children who haven’t yet mastered their emotions.

Before you do all this…

Make sure you know what to do with the child that has a habit to eat only in front of the screen. You can expect that your struggle with the meals will be even bigger. Link

Make sure that play time will be even harder with all the clutter and toys that are not used for playing with, but are only scattered and left around. Link

Make sure that your teenage child will not cut the communication as a sign of protest. Link

Get creative, because the stakes are big, and the outcome will be beautiful for all.

 

How my young daughter taught my older son things that I couldn’t

As a mom of three, I had the luck to go through the experience of having a child with difficulties with communication. Contrarily from the past, now I feel that I was blessed to have this experience…This little boy had to walk me to the ends of myself, to the best and worst of me. From fears and misery of self-pity and helplessness to the most powerful and uplifting hopeful mom in this world.

And along the way, I have learned many things, most of them how should I behave around the children especially around him. And in my mind, I was always looking into myself as me being the one responsible for him who has to do all the heavy lifting around.

Teaching him how to speak, communicate, and behave. And I did it, all that I could and I knew. But in that cloud of doing with no stopping and “Me being the only one in all of this” I didn’t see next thing coming.

Even that we have been to a number of doctors and therapists his communication haven’t changed a lot. He was still communicating most with the body language and a couple of uncontested words. After a while, I have established the idea in my mind that this will never be an easy process and that there is a lot of work.

In between, we had a new family member, my daughter. She is almost 4 years younger than my son, and as we figured out later she was exactly the perfect age to be the one thing that I couldn’t be for my boy.

One day I was laying on the bad with the phone in my hands going through social networks trying to get some rest form the crazy housework. I was relaxed because my little girl and my boy were next to me in the tiny toy house trying to play something. I was pretty out with my attention but suddenly I have been amazed. My son asks my little daughter a question with a full correct sentence almost like he had always talked. I didn’t move, but I got my full attention on their conversation. They were communicating perfectly. He was asking and answering and the play was just flowing.

And then I figured… my little daughter had taught him the things that I couldn’t, with no pushing or any resistances as I used to have while trying to communicate with my son. The help will always come to us, and sometimes from the strangest and unexpected places.

Now he is older and he is better at communicating, and I have to say that my daughter is the greatest reason for that.

Maybe this is not too strange for the people who work with this kind of children, but for me, this was an eye-opening experience. So great that had made me actually let go of the biggest burden of being a mom…

We are family and because of that, I had to let go and let everybody help, even the smallest ones.

 

3 Reasons why self-help programs might not work for you

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I have been through a number “different”of self-help programs meaning… reading, listening, watching, and do the home work or the tasks that were given. Did I ever finish all of them? NO I haven’t! Did I fund something helpful in some of them? Yes of course.

And I have figured one thing and it was the same for all of programs

I had understood what their goal was. In the moments of being trough the programs (for almost all) of them I had a “revelation” that…YES this is it! But after some time, usually when the tasks or exercises needed to be done, out of strange and unknown reasons I couldn’t finished them. Something was missing.

So after a long time this was the “logical conversation” in my mind.

Ok, I have understand the program, it sounded so helpful and truth, it gave a totally logical explanation on what is happening to me… And then somewhere in the middle of the tasks I would run away and stopped.

Why? I don’t know, but one thing is for sure. My mind had created and another failure, and again the question …What is wrong with me?

This is what you should have on your mind before giving a death sentence on a self-help program.

Finding the right program for you.

There is no magic bullet. Whatever gives you a piece of mind, or at least a pleasant feeling inside and out, it is actually “your piece of cake”. Let yourself on a hunt, read, listen, watch… Your life is the only piece of life for which you should spend your time. When you feel pleasant and happy you’re surrounding will change and it will rearrange itself for you.

Expectations of the outcome.

Do not grow any expectation… that will only lead to disappointment.

But the attitude of being positive and finding a pleasant outcome with whatever comes, it is an perfect staring point. We are all the same, but on the other hand we are so different that we cannot expect to have same outcome.

Always be aware of the good things that you can adopt.

Not all the programs and lecturers that you might go through are having  a homework of some kind or follow-up actions, but that doesn’t mean that whatever they only speak about isn’t a lesson by itself. Just the ideas that they are sharing are another brick in your “believe” house for better living.

So be aware of the good things that sounds good to you, try to adopt them even if you do not agree with everything in this program. Do not discard the program just because you didn’t approve everything.

Everybody’s approach is different. But on the end, the goal is always the same. Happiness, presence, pleasantness, awareness, love, forgiveness call it as you wish. The goal is always the same…Your wellbeing.

Give yourself the freedom to explore. That is how you will find what is right for you.

 

3 things to do while you are giving an advises and not be a complete As*hole.

I loved the feeling when somebody was asking me for advice. I was all over the place when somebody needs a help even as an advice. My ego was having a great time… “Oh look how smart and wanted I am”. But my soul was not. I was always the one who is everywhere helping and advising. But was I capable to help everybody… Of course, nobody is, or maybe this daze Google is.

Since we are not Google, be aware of this.

3 Things to be aware while giving an advice.

Don’t judge

If somebody turned to you for an advice doesn’t mean that he needs more of a bad stuff on his head. In their confusion of not knowing what to do, judgment of their capabilities is one thing they don’t need. Things happen in life, and we humans learn while live (mostly from our mistakes) every second of our lives. We should cherish the honor that was given to us, so we are in the position to help somebody. We should also not allow our ego to abuse this position, to create a judgment to feel the sense of being higher.

Don’t say anything just because you feel like you have to answer.

We should learn how to say NO. Even if you had the honor of being asked for an advice be very honest, first with yourself and then with the others. If you do not know how to help properly than just say “sorry, I don’t know” how to help or how to do that. Being a smart ass and just go around the topic will not help you or anybody else it will just waste time and energy.

Make sure that you know how to do “the thing” that you are advising.

If we want to help them we should really first do some self-evaluation on our capabilities to help. Giving advice is much more than empty words. It is not only what you should do, but knowing the key element “how you should do it” will make the receipt for a proper advice.

If we don’t have the how to the suggestion, then that is not an advice it is just a wishful thinking.

True help comes when we show how it is done, we give the tools, we point to the successful outcomes.

When somebody asks for an advice…

I feel bad and I feel I need to lose weight?

Complete judgmental asshole

Of course, you should lose weight, you look bad and you did this to yourself because you are lazy and you don’t take care of yourself.

When you know how to say NO.

I believe you should lose weight but I really don’t know how to help you.

When you really help.

Yes you should lose weight, and I know the great program that can help you, I will give you the info for the program and when you settle down I will be there to support you if you need me.

We should make our communications count, especially when we need to do the greatest thing in the world, to help.

The most important person in my family

We are a family of 5, living together trying to make the best out of this life.  Some of us already know that “the change of the world starts from inside”,  and some of us are on the road to discover that.

But anyway…we are all in this together.

For me family is the place where we are shearing our life journey. Family is the highest form of human achievement, because what you will do for your family  you might never do for anybody else.

Every day you break yourself for your loved ones, and then you rebuild yourself to become a better for you within their eyes. The highest form of “sacrifice” are made by a parents for their children,  but for me it is the highest form of my way of growing back in to my child like self.

What are my family treasures…

My children are the most important in my family.

I treasure my children because of chance to experience so many beautiful things with them. They are not mine, but they given to me to led them trough the life, sometimes more sometimes less. My biggest mirrors in everything sad and done. My biggest reasons to look inside and look for better me. Tree little people who showed me my biggest fears, and my greatest capabilities for love.

My husband is the most important in my family.

He is my dearest friend and partner. The love of a man is all diferent expiriance on its own, that is why should be treasured and nurtured at all times (not just) in the beginning of the relationship. Our world is constantly changing and with it we are changing to, that is why I believe that we should constantly work on our relationships and never expect that “Old key to open a new door”. He helps me grow and create a better version of me every day. He had challenged me so strongly that I had to look “in me, to see me”. That is haw i  figured out that in this reality…The more we fear the more we judge, and  the more we love the more grateful and happy we feel.

I am the most important in my family.

Me, myself and I. All of them together. It all starts with me and all ends with me. The “good” and the “bad”  and every last experiences because…. “Universe is seeing itself trough my eyes”.

I did shared my mind of this world  in this writings, hoping that someone will get inspired to live better today. Because I believe that…

The greatness of the human stands in the number of people that he had inspire, so that they live better with themselves”

So since my life starts today,  my view of a family is my own and today feels like this, who knows what will happened tomorrow.

How do you decide to live today

Why do we have troubles? Why do we have problems? Why do we have headaches? Why are we sick, unhappy, why do we have a big load of life’s burden on our shoulders? Has anyone of us asked about these questions? Why everything seems wrong in our lives? Every choice, idea, movement seemed to be the wrong one!

Why EVERYTHING IS SO COMPLICATED???

The answer is very easy. Because it isn’t simple. We don’t think how to live our lives in a very common and simple way. The societies’ systems are teaching us that life isn’t simple, it doesn’t need to be simple, and it does have to have rules in order to live simpler and fruitful life. But, it’s totally the opposite way.

As the old saying says:

Don’t live yesterday, don’t plan tomorrow, LIVE TODAY WITH THE WIDE OPEN CHEST TO THE FULLEST!

For instance, after my graduation, I was full of life inside me and I was ready to conquer the world exploring new things and experience many situation while working and providing for myself and for the others. But, I couldn’t find a job, because the system where I live is so complicated and it has a lot of boundaries that were limiting me, so, gradually, I was getting frustrated, disappointed, and I was drowning in sorrow and depression because, everything seemed so complicated.

Until, one day, when I said to myself, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, no more wasting time of my life, because my life is precious gift that I’ve got from above and I need to take a good care of it.

My life starts today, and I’m going to live it today. Step by step, my life went up, from the low frequency, to the high frequencies of the fruits which are waiting us to take them without any clearance, just for free. Deep down, in myself I have found out that helping others selflessly is the thing that I want to do it the most, so, I started from that point and gradually, after few years I have found happiness in my life, I have found the perfect job for myself and the perfect person to spend my life with.

Nothing is impossible, it’s just how badly you want to do it. By having a strong desire for that matter, you will find a zillion ways to fulfilled it. We should live now, as we are, simple, without any expectation, without any prejudices or doubts about anything.

The life’s fruits will come, because they are already prepared for us. No, matter how they will come, from above, from the street, from the unknown person whom you never hoped that he/she will be willing to help you selflessly to you, exactly you.

Every day is a different story for us, so we shouldn’t live in the past, we should be grateful that tomorrow came to our lives, and we should live now, to the fullest, to do the things that we want, to get rid of the chains of the laws and system’s norms that are drowning us to worries, and problems, and we should taste the fruits if the life which are given to us free and in big abundance. Don’t wait to do something tomorrow, do it today, because today is the right moment for doing it!