Don’t worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.

I am a parent and I do forget this often.
But how much truth lies in this words. I would say the biggest one in the world.

For a bit let’s go back to ourselves…
How many things we say and do like our parents?
I believe that in just a couple of seconds you will find at least 3 things. And most of the time these things are not positive ones.

Being angry and screaming can leave a great impact on the children’s memory, and no matter what you will say, the voice and the energy will be imprinted in the children’s memory.
And then later if you don’t clear that communication with a proper “I am sorry”, and “please forgive me” then your child will still worship you but with the bad emotions and memories of you.
So, saying things will not do much, but showing and doing genuinely good things will do all the difference in the world.

Since it is our responsibility to raise our child to grow up and to become a great human, meaning “someone who will respect others and will respect himself” than we should go back to some lessons that maybe we are forgetting.

Here some great ideas that can help you to stay strong on the way of parenting.

Why children don’t listen
If our children don’t listen that we should change our voice.
Children don’t listen defying behavior

Ways to make your children listen.
If we want to change our children’s behavior we should first change ours.
5 ways to get your child to listen.

Common parenting mistakes.
If we want to see fewer mistakes in our children’s behaviors we should first correct ourselves.
10 common mistakes parents today make me included.

The person you marry shouldn’t be the one you can live with, but the one that you can’t live without.

How great the world would be if we can see this kind of love lasting till the end of the best partnership in the existence… marriage.
Loving somebody with all your heart with no judgment and no expectation, no exceptions.
People might actually fall in love and feel this feeling, but along the way, life happens and partners become not just only being able to live within marriages but it goes even further.

Very often in today’s marriage, we can see the third and the worst form of this partnership, where they cannot live with each other.
And this doesn’t mean that these people have never loved each other, it only means that they have never used the full potential of real love.

Love and marriage can be the roughest ride ever in once lifetime. So many beauties and so many lessons.

That is why we have to be very aware how we enter on this ride and how do we travel along so that we don’t end up in the third category of broken partnership.

My lessons learned…

Respect yourself and each other
People grow, they never stop growing and as they grow they tend to change. Changes will be good and some of them maybe not so good, but respecting yourself for who you are should never go away. Because the one that loves you will always respect you for who you are.
Respecting each other is the best way that can always take you back to the most beautiful and basic love.

Here is some more help on this What is respect in marriage

Never stop talking
Never, never, never stop talking to each other. The conversations will change but the talks about each other’s feelings, happiness, dreams, and wishes should always stay as a constant. Because the man who loves you will love to hear all of them all the time. Go back to the great memories, relive them and enjoy once more in them together.

Here is some more help on this When couples stop talking reasons and reminders.

Kids are kids but love is love
If the ride goes crazy in one marriage than it is the time when children arrive. The joy and happiness that these little people can bring are endless, but also the stress and the need for change in the shortest time ever. Children are important and this feeling can overwhelm and even drown the partners. If there is a time where both partners should be more close to each other than this is the time for that.
Kids will grow and will become what they will become, but you will be the one that stays to talk and love each other.

Here is some more help on this Staying in love while raising kids

 

 

 

When you child becomes not autistic after 4 years of being one.

And this shall pass…

Remember this, because very often life is giving us lessons, and when we are not aware living tend to become very hard.

My child was diagnosed with dysfunctional development, and then it was autism, and then it was not.How this did happen…It was not because of the magical cure for autism but because of the information.
We have done all the tests and did a research but after a while doctors have decided that it is a specter of autism. Time was passing and the child was making some progress, and then they have decided that is not.

But what happened to me and my family going through this 4 years.
Somebody get stronger, somebody gets tougher, but most of us learned something that nobody expected.

We have learned acceptance and love.
As a parent, you are never enough prepared to deal with some issues with your children, typical and not typical ones. It would be senseless to say that the parents of typical “normal” ones are just having the time of their lives with their children. But having a not typical child will challenge you on so many levels. On the end of the day, there is no other thing than seeing yourself how much you have grown. But on the other hand, this growth can be in many directions and that is what makes the difference in the quality of living for us, for our child and for our family.

Nothing is final, nothing lasts forever and nothing is here to stay.
Being in the middle of the problem most of the times is so overwhelming that life feels like you are drowning in the middle of the ocean. Letting it go can make all the difference for you.
Learning to stop, get to the point where you will go to knowing that there is always a way.
I am saying this because from this perspective I have seen the best improvement in my son’s state only when I have decided to let go.
You can always try, but if it’s ending to be a suffering to you and him then you should just let go. That doesn’t mean that you should give up? NO. It means to let that thing of yourself, making some space something else to appear that will do the situation better.There is nothing in this world that is covering the past, present and the future as strongly as a parents care for their children. The feeling of their well being is always burdened with what will be and how it will be. The feeling of not having the control over somebodies else’s life makes us so fearful and stuck, in our past and their future instead of being here and now.

The NOW when they told me that my child has autism was devastating. But did I decided to live in it as my future? NO. I have decided that every moment is worthy of being the best, at least every present day if not less.

One question test to check… How do you feel about HELP?

Do you know how you should feel when you give help?

Help, the most valued action in this world.

And we humans get very confused and lost along the way with giving and asking for help.

In order to see what is happening, we are just going at the beginning of all.

The first and the most basic help that we get is from our parents. They are doing everything to help us in the beginning of our journey in this world, taking care of us, giving up on their own comfort so that they can help us because they know how helpless we are.

And the feeling on both sides is the most beautiful and the most enlightened of all. Reasons…I believe it is because of the unconditional love. The love that comes with the cleanness of babies filled with a feeling of no restrictions and no expectations.

And then learning starts to take place. It is a process, every action with a certain reaction. Every newly learned thing with a new expectation.

When you are small, your expectations are small. If you fall down you are thought to get up. You need a hand for a while and then you don’t. And when you master getting up again by yourself, the help is gone. Now comes the next step. You need to build up your strength, to learn the process of falling and getting up BY YOUR SELF.

This is just a drop of water in the ocean of our life, of being helped, but it holds the basics and the essence of helping.

Now if we only manage to keep this pattern of helping, then life would be a better place for all of us. Where do we get things wrong?

While growing up, our helping parents create a picture of us and the picture of us is created with all their wishes for our best life, all their fears of our worst life, and all the expectations of our actions finished by judgments of how we should be.

Let’s not judge, because they did what they thought it’s the best.

Now when we are all grown up being who we are, do we ask what kind of helpers have we become?

Do we give our support with no restrictions and no expectations or do we always calculate?

Do we measure our emotional and material gain while giving help to someone?

We should be AWARE and always ask ourselves these questions.

And the answer may be clear or not, but one thing is certain.

Help FEELS really good, sometimes it feels like helping a little baby start walking, sometimes it feels like helping an old lady cross the street, just because you see that she cannot do it by herself.

And help LOOKS like a man going into the fire to help someone stuck in the burning building. The need for help is one of the essential needs of a human being. And if it is given appropriately, it will produce the best felling of all. With helping others we actually help ourselves be released from judgment, expectations.

Without going into all the complications of how helping can go wrong in this world.

Let’s take just stick to the knowledge that help feels amazing and that it is good for all.

Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how react on it.

Let’s talk about this.

When I read this quote, the first thing that comes to my minds is… I don’t have a control over my life.

True or false?

Usually, we notice our big reactions the most when BIG things happen to us, and it goes for the bad and good ones. But actually, every little thing that we mostly do on “autopilot” is just a reaction of our reaction of our reaction.

Are we aware of our reactions?

Do we even see what’s happening?

Everything around is triggering some of our reactions, sometimes without even us knowing that it happened. Every picture, sound, voice, face, and the smell is taking us to a certain experience that we had before, and from there we can only react to the present moment.

Truly being in nonreactive space is when we create something new. When we experience the inspiration, we do not have space for reaction. Knowing this, we should use every opportunity to be more in the place of creation instead of just reacting.

When there is creation, there is no judgment and no resistance. When there is creation there is always a flow.

Think about what is making you feel like you’re flowing, and feels great to do.

That is your LIFE.

Feel free to comment and share your opinion and feeling about it. Maybe along the way, someone will get inspired by you.

Best ways to make a house that creates everything you need.

I believe that “Home is a feeling, not space”. But, most of the time the feeling of home is where your loved ones are and where you spend the best moments in your life.

We can see the proof of this with the teenagers. They are so eager to go away from home no matter how good and pleasant their life is with their families. They are searching for more.

But even if the home is just a feeling, then building a good house can make that feeling even stronger and even better.

Once upon a time, people didn’t need to travel so far to get what they need, they had it all very close to them. And lately, we started going back to this because of many reasons.

We eat food from all over the world, but our body is “programmed” to coexist best with the food that grows around us.
We do activities that are made to only treat the symptoms of our living and not comply with our living.
Our homes are made to separate us from the only things that support our life… Nature.

Before we stop and think of the list of what is wrong with our lives and with our living, we can find a great solution to treat all these symptoms with only one thing.
We can build our home to serve us with the best things that one home can give.
Building a home that creates food, keeps us in touch with nature and gives us the logical and sustainable way of living.

Earthship is a house that can do all of this for you. By using the best principals of natural building and using the best attributes of earth and nature. This house will produce food for you, will give you shelter for the lowest cost ever, will be beautiful and functional and it will give you the need to do activities that will bond you with nature.
This way of living will solve all the symptoms that we see in the society without even working on them.

Smart home
It’s smart when your utility bills are small, almost insignificant. Only by using the thermal energy of the earth and water you can create a cool place in summer, and warm and cozy place at winter almost for free.

Healthy home
Being in touch with the ground and having an opportunity to eat what you plant and grow in your house, can be the best health benefit that you can have. And the joy of growing and producing your food, the opportunity to touch the soil and the plants every day will give you the best mind rest ever. The one thing that we lack the most these days.

Beautiful home
This way of building homes can be so beautiful because the only thing that can be a limit is your imagination. The only thing that you should think is to keep in mind the principals of a smart and healthy house, all the rest it is up to your wildest imagination.

The screens are EATING very important part of us.

Before you even try to picture it, the “big monster” in your head as a dragon or a hideous creature I will just add some color to it. My face and the face of my children is the part of that picture.

It is all over the place, we are all part of this big monster called a screen time…

Why do I use this “monster” term… because it is big, overwhelming and scary to deal with, and slowly but surely is taking over our life’s.

And as all, not so nice things in the society, this is one thing that is impacting our children’s life’s the most. Who is responsible? I am afraid that on this one we cannot rely on our children, especially the youngest ones on their awareness to stop. With so many researchers that proves that screen time is as a cocaine for the children (and not only children), we need to start braking these monsters face for the good of all.

If we want to change, then we all need to change, the technology is here to stay and it will make sure that the media is working towards the attraction of more “viewers”, children or not.

It is upon us parents to win over our children’s quality living time.

Awareness is a first step towards solving a problem.

This is some things that can raise awareness while facing the “screen time monster” for your children or yourself.

Why do we allow so much screen time?

Because…

We want to get some rest;

We want to finish some work without disturbance of the children;

We want to have screen time;

Whatever it is, from this three reasons or maybe something totally different, it is not good enough to make our children’s life’s a collateral for the things that the system had created, and we accepted as necessary.

There are few easy things you can do, to take control over the screen time.

  • Take the screen while mealtime.
  • Take screens from the bedroom.
  • Take screens for personal use, tablets and smartphones.
  • Leave only one screen in the house.

There are great writings that can help you and give you ideas how to actually change your family screen time habits. For the children Link, and for grown-ups link.

Another point of awareness is the greatness of the struggle that will appear when you try to take out some screen time.

As being aware for yourself, on how much struggle it takes for you to take attention from the screen, then you can imagine what is happening with the children who haven’t yet mastered their emotions.

Before you do all this…

Make sure you know what to do with the child that has a habit to eat only in front of the screen. You can expect that your struggle with the meals will be even bigger. Link

Make sure that play time will be even harder with all the clutter and toys that are not used for playing with, but are only scattered and left around. Link

Make sure that your teenage child will not cut the communication as a sign of protest. Link

Get creative, because the stakes are big, and the outcome will be beautiful for all.

 

The “Law of attraction” SUCKS if you don’t know this detail.

Yesterday very unexpectedly I have to stumble upon a video that had a very crazy name. “F*ck the law of attraction” created and published by Teal swan a self-help guru. At first, I didn’t want to watch it, because, along with the way in so many years of reading and listening to it, I have created a feeling very close to this one.

And as they say… when you want something, you will find it. And as requested this talk had opened a new view on Law of attraction mechanics if I may say.

First, he made it very clear. This universe is working and it creates its manifestations in accordance with the law of attraction. Meaning, what frequency you radiate, that is what you attract.

This sounds totally logical and in accordance to what I have heard and reads many times about Law of attraction before. Some of the self-help programs and lectures did manage to bring me close to some realizations, but it seems something was missing.

And now I have realized that there IS a little, but very important detail that was not mentioned in my previous experiences while I was learning about the Law of attraction.

Are we aware of…Who is responsible for our real frequency vibration?

In the Teals video, I have found the best explanation by now, at least for me, about who is actually in charge. Here you will find out that we are at all times two points of view, the one that is involved in this 3d reality, and the other one which is called by many names, but for me is the connection with all or our higher consciousness.

Are we aware of our desires?

Most of us NOT, at least the part where we think we know what we desire. This two points of view THING IS making sure that we FEEL like we know what we want, but we get something totally different. And when we do receive something that is judged as bad, then we do a lot of self-judgment, guilt-tripping, and suffering. But actually, our higher consciousness made sure that we experience exactly what we need so that we can expand.

How can we make this law actually work without any tricks?

I don’t believe that we can be SO aware, in order to always get the law to work perfectly and in line whit whatever our mind can perceive and judge as good.

What can we do?

Simply we can first try to inspect the things that are manifested, in order to actually recognize what is the real need that we have. Our higher self-doesn’t judge, it just creates a desire and with it attracts the circumstances from which we will experience what we need.

If you have a resistance towards certain things, maybe you should try to embrace it and find the things that will make you grow.

There is more valuable information in this video that will definitely bring you closer to the other side of this famous and mystical Law of attraction.

The link of the video is from the Teal swan official channel.